Continuing my effort to catch up....
Day Eight: Sunday was Father's Day and a thoroughly enjoyable one. I had brunch with my daughter, son-in-law, grand daughter, and Jane. I'd picked a restaurant a few blocks from the house, but hadn't realized that everybody for miles around had the same idea. No reservations. So, we had to stand on the sidewalk and wait for about half an hour to get a table. Fortunately, the day hadn't gotten too hot yet. And Jane and the kids were just fine with the wait. No one lectured me about not planning ahead, or pouted because they couldn't sit right down, or complained because they had plans that they were now running late for. They just took the wait in stride and understood that I have a tendency to fly by the seat of my pants when it comes to things like restaurant reservations. I think they love me the way I am and accept that sometimes an outing with me will be other than what they had expected. Realizing that did a lot to get me out of the funk I've been in the last few days!
After brunch, we all went our separate ways. I headed home to water my flowers and tomatoes, play music and take a nap. It was great to not have any demands on me and to be able to spend some quiet time by myself. I need to do more of that.
Late afternoon I went to a board meeting for West End Players Guild. Quick and to the point, we got all of the necessary business done in about fifteen minutes. Afterwards, I went to a local pub, Dooley's, in what passes for our theatre district. With me were Chuck, Tina, and Robert, all fellow board members. We had a good discussion of the local theatre scene and especially the Fringe Festival in which we're taking part. Then off to home and to bed.
Day Nine: Monday evening was my night to teach at the Folk School. This session, I'm teaching mountain dulcimer and a fiddle repertoire class. I've got good students and am having a good time teaching them. They're all adults. It's rewarding to be able to pass along the tunes I've learned from others and to see how receptive the students are. And I get paid a little bit, which makes it even more agreeable!
After teaching, I got home about 8:30 and had dinner. A simple salad and a sandwich of pepper loaf lunch meat on wheat bread washed down with a couple of glasses of red wine. It had been a good day and I felt like some healing was going on with me as I got undressed and went to bed.
Day Ten: Even though it's only Tuesday, I kept thinking it was Thursday while sitting at my desk at the day job. That must mean something. After work, I should have gone to the gym, but ran errands and picked up ingredients for dinner instead. Another salad (it's just too hot for much else) and sauteed a couple of chicken thighs.
So, for a while now, I've been anxious about the state of my relationship with Jane. I worry that she's growing tired of me or that I've done something to make her less interested. But, I think I'm coming out of it. I have begun to understand that it's been my issues that are getting in the way of my just being in the moment and enjoying her company. I realize, on a conscious level, that Jane loves me and there is nothing to worry about. So, I'm working at keeping that in the front of my mind and trusting it and it seems to be doing the job. Jane's pet sitting business has been picking up and she's working two part-time jobs, so she's busy and understandably feeling pressured. I need to just let her be and not bring my anxiety and neediness for her to deal with, too. Since I made the decision to respect that, things have felt better. Which is great. I really don't want to screw this up.
So, now it's time for meditation and then to bed. Here's hoping that tomorrow is at least as good as today.
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