Day One

I recently had the pleasure of seeing the film, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and enjoyed it very much. Not, I think, as much as my girl friend, Jane, and the other friend who went with us, but they are "women of a certain age" and I think the film was really made with them in mind.

In the movie, the character played by Dame Judy Dench writes a blog in which she discusses her impressions of India and her new life there. It begins "Day One..." and continues counting days off as the story progresses. This was a good narrative device for the film to further the story in an economical way and to let us know that this character and many of us in the audience, especially those of us over 50, have much the same bewilderment and wonder about the world around us and how chaotic and beautiful it can sometimes seem.

It got me to thinking that maybe I should start doing something similar as a kind of electronic journal of my thoughts about the world around me; although, I am in the American mid-west and spend about a quarter of my time in a cubical at a day job that is not so much wonderful as it is lucrative and stultifying.

In the past, I had a blog that I wrote. But as time went on, I began to tell myself that no one really cares what I think about things and I stopped writing.

With this new attempt, I am approaching it as a journal of sorts. The plan is for this to be a record of my thoughts and impressions as I move through a new phase of my life: in the last year I've become a grandfather for the first (and likely only) time. I've left a 30-year marriage. I have found a companion with whom I am in love and loves me but without a sense of attachment (in the Buddhist sense). And I am finding my way spiritually into a very positive and happy place. If people find the blog online, enjoy it, follow it, that's fine. If not, it's no big deal since I'm doing this for me anyway. And who knows, maybe what I write will be good and helpful to someone, or at least entertaining.

Of course, Dame Judy had some very good writers handling her blog posts. So, maybe I'm being over-hopeful.

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Today, I went to the Pagan Picnic in Tower Grove Park. It was early, so there wasn't a large crowd. The sun was up and very warm, but not too bad at all in the shade. There were a lot of people with easy-up tents and tables or racks to display their work: dresses, sculpture, books, pottery, and a lot of hand made jewelry. There were the odd tarot reader and one spot where people seemed to be holding each others' hands and being very sympathetic, but I didn't go in and don't really know what was going on. The food selection was smaller than I remember it being in years past, and as I hadn't had breakfast, that was disappointing.

The one thing that really struck me was the number of t-shirts and bumper stickers that had negative or downright mean messages. Things like "No, you really are just stupid". It was disheartening to see this kind of thing at a gathering that I had assumed was to celebrate and foster diversity in thinking and spirituality. I suppose that there are all kinds of people in every movement or tribe. Some are moving along the path in a positive, growing way and some are still stuck in bitterness or hurt for some past act.

I wonder if we've reached a point in our culture at which we have become so inwardly directed that we either don't know or don't care that these kind of sentiments can hurt other people. Is it because we cut ourselves off in air conditioned homes and only watch the news and listen to the radio that has opinions we agree with and if someone is bothered, offended, or hurt by what we say or do, we laugh it off and say it was just a joke (knowing that it wasn't).

As for me, I can remember when I thought that being sarcastic and mean was witty and "post-modern". But as I've gotten older I see that sarcasm and negativity aren't anything but sarcasm and negativity. I intend to keep doing my best to provide a positive influence in the world as small as it may be.